The Chartreuse Box

By: Wonko The Sane

Intro

The Chartreuse Box, so named because this is an obnoxious box and chartreuse is an obnoxious color, is designed to take advantage of the thousands of dollars Ma Bell pays to the electric company each day. As you know, your telephone line is a constant power source. The chart box is designed to allow you to tap that power source for whatever sicko purposes you might have in mind.

Parts

  1. 1 four prong to modular phone adapter (the rectangular beige boxes with phone line jacks at one end and four prongs out the other.)
  2. 1 low power broad range rheostate.
  3. some wire
  4. a soldering iron
  5. some electric tape
  6. a 70 vlt. DC fuse (optional)
  7. 1 SPST switch

Assembly

Plug the adapter into a phone line, and use a multitester to note which posts are charged. Use a magic marker to mark the positive and negative poles. Do this first.

Take the adapter, and turn it upside down. You should observe that the bottom fits into the top. Use a pocketknife, small screwdriver, battle axe etc. to remove the bottom. Don't break it.

Detach the two wires not connected to charged poles, and scrap em. Detach the other two wires as well. Take your rheostat, and mount it on the outside of the box, drilling a small hole in the box, to run wires through.

Run wire from the charged connections from the line jack, through the rheostat, to the charged poles. (see diagram). 

          positive line
                  \/        +---------+
       ---------.....       :         :
       linejack+    :......#:rheostat :#........(fuse)....[=====]
       ---------..          :         :
                 :...       +---------+
                    :............#.........................[=====]
                                        negative line

       Key:  # - Rheostate poles
             . - Wiring path
            [=]- Outside posts
Attach the fuse somewhere in the line if you feel like it. When the phone rings 90 volts of pulsing DC power get shot down your line, and can really fuck up whatever you have the chart box hooked up to. Therefore, the fuse is a good idea.

You can also hook a switch up to the wiring, to give you more control over when power starts to flow. Once all the wiring is complete, push the wires and the fuse into the casing, and reclose it. Then tape around the side of the box, to hold the wires that come out to the rheostat down. I highly recommend that you mark the charged posts with a marker, so you can easily identify them.

Use

To use the chart box, hook it up to a phone line, and grab a multitester or voltmeter. Use the voltmeter to read off the voltage from your chart box. You can get up to 12 volts (more if you use a transformer) from the box, but you can use the rheostat to calibrate the box for whatever voltage you need. Once the voltage is set, remove the box from the line, hook your device up to the charged poles, and plug the box back in. If you're really in a constructive mood, build a switch into the box. Now leech Ma Bell's precious energy to your hearts content.

Footnote

This device has other potential uses. One of the most obvious, and least useful (at least to my view) is as a volume control for your phone. Maybe you have an aunt that talks REAL LOUD!!!!! Also, you can use this device to set up a feedback loop to mess up someone else's phone line. Finally, it may be possible to use the chart box to tone down your connection, and provide a little background noise, so that ESS doesn't pick up on your blue boxing. This is not a guaranteed method, but if you do it just right, you can make the 2600 blast sneak by the ESS detection code.

Naturally, the main purpose of the chart box is to leech Ma Bell just like she leeches you.

Hail Discordia!

Naturally, the main purpose of the chart box is to leech Ma Bell!